Getting tired of men guilting me for not wanting sex. Do they not understand womens health risks aren't just about covid? Do I have to keep explaining that I don't want to go to the hospital if I get a yeast infection, uti, bv, sti, or pregnancy? Kudos to women who are willing to put up with all that plus hpv vaccines and sti testing and paps and hormonal birth control that causes depression just for sex though I guess. You have to really be dtf to go through all that in a pandemic. (And deal with a man on top of it.) I'd like sex too but... not that much.
I wish there were convents for non catholics. Like in Goddess times when women lived in the temple together. Bet they didn't have to receive dick pics and drunk texts. I bet they slept well and had less chronic pain or mental illnesses.
I think I'm due for a gratitude list. I'm grateful to still be living in my own private home alone, even if sometimes it's hellishly noisy in the city. It's hard to feel lonely when neighbors are banging around, laughing, blaring their music, drilling and sawing, honking horns, sirens......... It's almost like having roommates.
I might be lonelier if I was surrounded by total silence. I might get spooked by pine cones falling on a roof or raccoons running around, or wind whistling through the trees. And if anything went wrong, it might be hard to find help. There's a sense of safety in the city, oddly. Strangers exchange info when shit happens. We have efficient resources and very good hospitals. But I've definitely been zillowing... I'm basically planning to fake a marriage and move to the rural suburbs just so I can be left alone by men!
My plan is to fix, paint, and upgrade whatever I can here while I wait for vaccine or for covid to run its course. At which point I'll either decide not to move because my place looks so great, or, i'll be all ready to move out. I think it's a good plan.
Grateful that I infused my honey with anise and cinnamon this morning. That will taste amazing in a few days.
The air feels nice lately. Last night I slept naked after a salt bath because my boobs hurt so much. It's comforting to wear just blankets sometimes.
I don't know what else to write. I'm still alive. Things are mostly pretty okay.
I should do some art today if I can drag myself over to my desk. I want to make it a daily practice, just like yoga, meditation, etc.
I really really wish I could do some mushrooms. I know where to acquire them, but it's still not exactly legal. But I'm sure it will be soon. Sigh.
9:45 a.m. - 2021-02-25