I read that 50% of Americans are anxious about returning to normal life. I'm relieved to learn I'm not the only one. The percentage is higher among black people, probably for similar reasons that I as a woman never feel safe, except that my body is in danger of not just white men, but, all men. Women have always been victims of assault. (And domestic slavery, beatings included.) 1 in 3 women are rape victims. Lets hope our minority men never suffer the same level of bullying that has always been inflicted on women. Domestic violence and rape are hate crimes, but they're so prevalent and normalized that we barely notice anymore.
I've started re-reading old history books on my shelf. History wasn't much better than modern news.
I read about a 9 year old white girl named Cynthia who was kidnapped by a tribe who murdered her father. She was raised by the tribe, and at 18, the chief chose her as his bride. Maybe he thought her blue eyes were exotic. Maybe he saw her as a conquest. Maybe he loved her. Who knows. They had three kids together. In her mid 30s her tribe was attacked by white men and kidnapped her back, but by then she didn't remember English. Her daughter died of being exposed to white diseases. Cynthia was so depressed she starved herself to death.
Did anyone ever ask her what she wanted? She was passed around like a fucking war prize by men of both cultures. She was a victim not of race, but of gender. It was a sad story.
My original intention was not to read the books but to find nice pictures to cut out and frame, to avoid buying decor. Now I'm having a hard time choosing pictures because I want to be surrounded by all the beautiful art in all my books, but I don't have enough walls or frames for it all. Today's project is to narrow down my absolute favorite imagery that I want to see every day. Because I don't want to cut up all my books unless I'm really certain it's worth it. Although, I can always just tape them back in if I change my mind later.
Today's affirmation:
I grow more awesome with each passing day!
I am grateful for:
Books. Art. My decorating skills.
The person I am becoming will experience more:
health
I have an opportunity to be my future self today when I:
practice acceptance and gratitude.
8:52 a.m. - 2021-05-11